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05-Mar-2020 23:46

We were going to run down the stairs until we got to the second floor, which was the main student study room.

That night there were probably up to two hundred students on the floor.

Had my friends not pushed me from behind, I probably would have just stood there for about a week.

It didn’t help that one of the professors started giggling. You might be surprised what lengths people will go to get out of the way of naked college undergraduates.

On top of the great weather, I had nothing go right for me that quarter.

My winter highlights included being blown down by wind several times (that season saw gusts up to 60mph); falling down in the bathroom and getting a concussion because someone had left the window open and water on the floor had conve- niently turned to ice; getting my first collegiate C because I was literally snowed in my dorm one morning and got to the midterm late; and sprain- ing my ankle so bad I couldn’t play basketball for two months. let’s get naked.” It is probably not in my best interest to repeat verbatim my first response to that statement, but let’s just say I expressed confusion and indignation.

Murphy, of Murphy’s Law fame, was along for the ride, and would make himself known very soon. It was that exact moment when I re- alized that not only was I naked, but people were going to see me naked, and not just people, but older women.

Once there, we would circle the room once, and then take the main staircase down to the first floor, where we would sprint through the Green Lounge, into the tunnel that connected our dorm to the law library and back to our rooms. I was confident, naked, and ready to expose myself.

Yet, as I prepared to open the door of the bathroom and lay myself bare to everyone in the law school, I didn’t realize I had a fifth member of my group.

As we made it around the room, a surprisingly warm reaction followed. Next to the front door sits the night security guard, who does nothing other than check bags and ID’s.

Whistles, clapping, laughter, cat calls, and cheers rang out. When we came within sight of the night security guard, I honestly thought he was going to combust.It was a bitterly cold March day in Chicago, the kind that freezes the mucous all the way up in your sinus cavity.



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